What Does it Mean to Do the Work?
/Wow, wow, wow - what a week it's been. I am so grateful for the awakening that is happening on the planet and so inspired and appreciative of the black women who have been so full of grace and love as we find our way through this next iteration of our evolution.
I am also awed by the anger and rage and thankful to everyone who has shared their experiences. It is humbling and heartbreaking and inspiring.
Growth and love - this is all about growth and love.
I am not an expert in being an ally, an accomplice, or in doing anti-racist work in general.
What I do know is that there is work to be done.
This is similar work to the fat activist work that I promote in this space as well as to the work of dismantling ableism and the marginalization of LGBTQIA communities.
If you haven't realized it by now, accepting our bodies in a culture that wants us to judge them and find them flawed is WORK.
In marginalized communities, assumptions are made about people based on nothing other than appearance and labels. If you are fat, it means……., if you are black, it means…….., and if you are queer or trans, it means………..
Everyone will fill in the blank differently based on their own experience and bias, but more often than not people fill the blank with highly judgmental assumptions.
We can assume nothing by only knowing something about someone's appearance and it is a welcome relief when a rupture like this happens and more of the light is able to get in.
This is an incredible opportunity and I'd like to share some of the resources I have been relying upon over the past week to learn more and continue to "do the work".
Yesterday I participated in a virtual "swamping" event hosted by Mama Gena. This was a powerful joining of women of all colors and identities, coming together to dance and release grief and tap into the sensual power that we all carry as women.
Now trust me - I had resistance to this - I am not very emotional, or expressive, and part of my personal work is learning how to tap into my divine feminine power. Cultivating our divine feminine is an essential piece of claiming our freedom as women and the more I do the work in this way - the more I am able to tap into who I really am.
We are all inherently divine and magnificent beings and the programming we go through in this world blocks us from that knowing.
Whether it is a message that we are too fat to be worthy or the wrong color, or both, we may not even be aware of the oppression we have internalized even as we subconsciously convey the messages we have absorbed in every action we take.
If you'd like to experience swamping - you can find that link here. It's happening for free on zoom for the next three Thursdays. (Only the first 100 people will be on camera - so feel free to show up late and dance like no one is watching. I was really surprised by the power of this experience.)
There is also going to be a healing event on Monday, June 8th featuring Milagros Phillips who I just heard speak during the swamping. I was deeply touched by her love, compassion, and grace for all humans.
Somehow she managed to hold space for the rage and grief of the black women and the hurt and confusion of the white women who wanted to help and didn't know how.
You may know this already but Me & White Supremacy, So You Want to Talk About Race, and How to be Antiracist are some of the books that many are turning to for wisdom and information at this time.
This was a great share about understanding systemic racism in case you need an easy to understand demonstration.
This is also an incredible resource listing all kinds of additional resources we can study and learn from.
And this article about obesity and racism was eye-opening. It highlights even more layers of misinformation that have brought harm to fat bodies and black bodies.
I am also grateful to the leadership of Be Nourished who made sure that those of us doing fat activism work as Body Trust Providers also understood the intersectionality of race and gender.
Don't feel like you have to frantically do all the things right away - as always - listen to your heart and let it lead you. What would be the next best thing that would be for the highest good of all at this moment?
It may be reading a book, saying a prayer, or attending a protest. It's going to look different for everyone.
Golden Heart Wisdom and the Heartmath Institute are two of my favorite places for learning how to lead from your heart.
A few additional things for you to keep in mind if you are white:
It is not a black person's job to educate you or help you figure this all out. You need to do your own work. If you don't know what that means, feel free to send me a message.
Being nice is not being anti-racist. This is a tough one for people to understand because of course, we all consider ourselves nice. But just like being fatphobic - being racist is not something we necessarily choose, nor is it something we are conscious of being. It is built into our fabric and we can't see it until we see it. This is another reason why we need to do the work. Our blinders are not going to fall off by themselves.
We are all going to get it "wrong" - meaning - we may try to support and find out that our efforts did not land as intended. But this is learning too - let's welcome it all.
There is a lot of anger and rage and frustration and overwhelm as lifetimes of playing nice and holding it in and living in fear are being released. Guilt is not what is being asked for here. Instead, what can you do to support and assist and help transmute the undeniably justified wide gamut of feelings? Love means allowing for all ranges of emotions and holding the space for their expression.
We live in an abundant universe with plenty to go around. There is no scarcity of love or opportunities. As more and more people gain access to this abundance, it makes the world a better place for all. If you feel resistant to any of this transformation - it might be interesting to explore where that is coming from. As we know from the fat acceptance work, resistance only serves to maintain the status quo while draining our energy and perpetuating our collective suffering.
Change needs to happen and change only happens with awareness and conscious choices.
If nothing else, be sure to at least listen to what people are trying to share with you.
As I said, I am a toddler on this path and learning how to walk just like everyone else. The education here is in real-time and happening now. What I may have been aware of before is crystalizing with more clarity now and opening up more and more possibilities for us all.
How can we embrace and expand this opportunity? Please share with anyone you think might benefit and please feel free to show me places where I can grow or lessons you'd like to share.
Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash