Intuitive Eaters in The Wild

When you want to learn how to do something, look at people who do it naturally. I have recently had the opportunity to interact with and observe the habits and behaviors of some natural intuitive eaters. It's fascinating to watch!

A few weekends ago,  I got to spend 2 hours with three of my favorite people on the planet. My siblings. During our time together, we went out for dinner. 

Well, it wasn't actually a dinner, it was a feast. During our feast, we had this great conversation about intuitive eating and our bodies and food.

Now 8 years ago, I would have been silently cringing and comparing our bodies and our habits and making all kinds of assumptions about what they did and didn't do when it came to food and body. 

I would have judged what they thought about bodies and created a story in my head about what their motivations were for their habits.

I would also have been judging myself and feeling awkward and uncomfortable for my struggles with food and body. I was always the bigger one of the group.

But I have done enough healing around my own self-worth so that this time, I was open and curious about how they see food.

I was not defensive because I have nothing to defend. No one is right, wrong, good, or bad. They are not better than me, nor am I better than them. We are all learning and growing through the different challenges we have in our own lives.

My growth edge has just happened to be food. 

When it comes to food, they simply don't have any fear, judgment, or emotions tied up in it the way I have.

So they eat with gusto. They don't limit anything. They don't restrict. They do make choices based on how they feel in their bodies.

They also experiment. Hmmm- my stomach has been hurting for a while, what happens if I shift this? What happens if I try that?

They have also connected to the food from a place of joy. They grow their food in some cases and really appreciate that connection to the land and the ability to nourish themselves through their love of gardening.

They don't label themselves. They aren't Paleo or vegan or "no oil whole food plant-based". All foods are welcome. All foods are enjoyed.

And that is the key - whatever they are eating, they enjoy it without judgment. They savor foods. They love to cook and create foods that feel good to their bodies. They eat something because it tastes good and feels good, not because they read a book about what it will do for them.

They know what foods will do for them because they feel it.

They know a bowl of berries feels good in the morning or a spinach smoothie. But they also love the taste of bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches or some corned beef hash and so they might have that too. 

They also know what it feels like to move their bodies. COVID actually gave them some more time and freedom to actually do things they love - like more gardening, painting, time with family, walks with the dog, and runs at midday. 

The old me would have said - well of course they feel good in their bodies if they are running every day, it's because of the running.

But no - what I really noticed this time is it's because of the joy.  They could not be happier doing the things that they do. They aren't trying to do these things to get anywhere or to avoid being somewhere else.

They are really tapped into the nurturing self-care of the things that they do. It's the energy of how they are being combined with the choices they make that leads to feeling good, strong, and healthy.  It's not the choices alone. 

Many of us have so much judgment, fear, and shame when it comes to our food and body that we are not tapped into the energy of joy.

This can be true even without having been subject to weight stigma, bias, discrimination, or trauma.  Those things can absolutely make the healing journey even harder (but still not impossible.)

No matter what the reason, when we try to make ourselves move or eat foods that some social media post says are supposed to be good for us, or craft our behaviors with the goal of fitting in, it falls flat and isn't sustainable and may not feel good.

That's when we often find ourselves operating from a place of "should" instead of "want to".

That is the most beautiful thing I noticed about my siblings. As I said, it wasn't what they did as much as the energy they did it with.  They feel happy and content to be connected with how good it feels to give the body what it wants.

Our feast included winter salad with nuts and fruits and blue cheese, warm polenta cake dripping with sauce, glazed carrots and cabbage, crispy potatoes with garlic aioli, roasted chicken with garlic, olives, and artichokes, a pork belly casserole, and salmon on a bed of grains with spinach.  We also had wine, cocktails, chocolate mousse and ice cream with espresso poured over the top.

It was a true feast and all of our bellies were quite full.

In the morning, the only thing they had to say about the feast was - wow I am surprised that I'm hungry for breakfast but I am - where should we go?

I truly believe it is the ease, joy, and lack of judgment combined with the reverence and self-care they shower their bodies with that is the reason they feel so good in their bodies.  

It's not about body size, shape, or ability because we are all different. Some of us are taller, some are more athletic, some are bigger and some are smaller. 

I can see in them that peace with food is based on a mindset and energy that leads to a natural weight without having to do anything that doesn't feel easy or fun.

They view the foods they are eating as gifts. Their bodies then receive the foods as gifts and the result is a body that is in harmony. 

I'm grateful to have been in their presence and able to witness something that I may have missed in the past as I was lost in my own judgment, story, and assumptions.

What do you notice about Intuitive Eaters near you?