Is Emotional Eating Normal?

Hello! I know it's been a while since I've written. I've been off exploring and learning and growing. One of the topics I've been revisiting in my own life lately is emotional eating.

So today we are exploring the question, is emotional eating normal?

Well, actually, the minute we wonder if it's normal, we have already gotten off track.

There is no normal, there is no right or wrong, there is no one way of being or acting or doing for any one person.

The question I am more interested in is - do I think I emotionally eat and do I think that is a problem?

This requires us to define emotional eating. Some would say it's eating whenever you are not hungry. Some would say it's eating in reaction to feelings like being stressed, sad, lonely, or bored.

For me, I think it's more nuanced. I can eat something at a party when I am not hungry, but I am socializing and engaged and having fun. While I'm not really aware of the food, I'm also not feeling like I can't stop eating. It's joyful and celebratory and I'm ok with it.

But if I am home and not hungry and riffling through the cupboards to find something fun to eat or I am eating in front of the tv and completely disconnected from how my body feels, that's the emotional eating I'm curious about.

So the next question is, what is the eating doing for me and how do I feel about it?

Sometimes we don't want to explore this question because we may not like the answer. This might be where we have to acknowledge that we are sad, bored, lonely, or wishing for something different in life.

We often tend to want to push those feelings away and food can be a big part of that. And if we have been reaching for food for a long time, it's a wonderful way for the brain and body to be trying to support us, but how does it make us feel?

I love this video clip by neuroscientist Kate Truitt acknowledging how wise the body is for using substances to regulate ourselves and also inviting us to find ways to regulate without the substances.

How much emotional eating is too much? This is a very personal answer and varies by individual. Thus, there is no "normal" amount.

In my experience, it's also about how I feel when I am eating. So if I can tell that I'm not showing up as my best self and I'm reaching to food to numb or to entertain, then I know there is something for me to look at there.

And if I'm in the energy of joy - wonderful!

I'm bringing this up because when I stepped onto the Intuitive Eating path, I took the idea of "eat what you want when you want it" and unconsciously gave myself full permission to eat emotionally when I was actually using food as a coping mechanism for all stress.

And then I spent a very confusing period of time in the body acceptance, self-love space not feeling very good in my body, and feeling like my job was to accept it no matter what.

So I worked on loving it, but I didn't stop exploring books and podcasts and listening to other people's experiences trying to figure out why I didn't feel very good.

What I was doing with food was not serving me in the end. It was making me physically unwell. This awareness dawned on me slowly, but it wouldn't have uncovered it if I had stopped looking for answers.

What I had to realize is that I had periods of eating without being hungry or eating past fullness that was driven by my emotions as well as habits due to the wiring of my nervous system.

This was actually very helpful to learn. Once I was able to identify that and see it, it became much easier to tend to.

Earlier in my experience, I had learned that "emotional eating was normal" and I agreed with the teachers whose intention was to stop people from being so hard on themselves for eating.

This is a great thing and a very healing step. Beating ourselves up for what we do only makes us feel worse and trying to "fix" our behavior from the level of food by restriction also only adds fuel to the fire.

But after I started to make friends with myself, I also had to admit that something needed to change. I was engaging in too many behaviors that weren't making me feel good. From chronic pain and inflammation to all the markers of metabolic syndrome and high cholesterol, I knew I didn't want to continue feeling this way.

And yes, I also gained weight. This actually made things more confusing because I was trying to love and accept myself and not see weight as a problem.

But a significant weight change up or down can be an indicator of an underlying imbalance. The imbalance may be emotional, spiritual, physical, or mental. It doesn't mean we should go diet or set off trying to lose weight, but it does mean there might be something to look at.

For me, "I don't feel well" was my motivating factor in exploring my health and it lead me on a journey of discovery to find what would support my body in feeling its best.

One of the things I discovered was the idea that I was indeed excessively emotionally eating and that it was having undesired consequences.

That's great information! It's great when you can get some clarity and then explore what you might want to do differently. This exploration is not about fixing. It's about supporting, nourishing, and healing the body and it's done with compassion and curiosity.

The eating wasn't actually the "problem", but it was the symptom that there was something else I was needing and I wasn't taking the time to slow down and identify what that was. So the cycle continued.

So is emotional eating normal? Yes and no. Food is an amazing coping mechanism and yet, sometimes it might not be serving us in the ways that we want it to.

Are you able to tell the difference between food that is nourishing and sustaining and food that is draining and exhausting you?

If your body isn't happy, what else might it be needing?

I'm here to support you as you continue to explore your relationship with food. Rest assured, there are answers and feeling better is possible.

So be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you commit to discovering what works for you and your beautiful and unique body.