Solving our Weight "Problem" Using the Frequency of Emotions

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Solving our Weight "Problem" Using the Frequency of Emotions

Albert Einstein said - “We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

This is why dieting, rules and restriction will never work to help us heal our relationship with our weight.

You see, the "problem" of our body has been created through fear based thinking.  For example, someone told us we should be smaller to be healthier and prettier and more acceptable.

So we live in fear of being unhealthy, unattractive and unacceptable.

Now we have a problem.  We feel bad about our bodies.

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Dear Mike Dooley - about your weight loss program.....

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First off, I have been a fan of yours for many years. Your Notes from the Universe are profound and uplifting and inspirational. I have saved many of them over the years because they make me smile. Like this one:

No more "supposed to's," OK, Elizabeth? 

You're not supposed to work harder, look better, sleep less, sell more, run faster, talk slower, be happier, stay longer, leave earlier, cook, clean, negotiate, settle, start, stop, move, try, win, shake, rattle or roll. 

Other people made all that up. 

I love you the way you are,

   The Universe

Which is why it makes it all the more confusing to see that you now have an offering called "Losing Weight and Looking Great". Really?

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It's Ok If You Still Want to Lose Weight

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It's Ok If You Still Want to Lose Weight

Intuitive Eating (IE) is a transformational approach to improving your relationship with food and body. When studying IE, one learns about what diet mentality is and how it might be holding you back from peace with food. IE students learn many other new concepts such as permission to eat and how to disarm the food police.

One very important thing true intuitive eaters also learn is that Intuitive Eating is not about weight loss.

In fact, true intuitive eating and intentional weight loss are quite the opposites.

And yet, people often still want to lose weight when they start intuitive eating.

I know I did.

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Dear Coach of Teens,

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Dear Coach of Teens,

First, thank you so much for your time and effort.  Sports are an incredible opportunity to learn how to work together as a team, and to learn new skills or get better at something you may not be very good at.  It's also a great bonding experience and chance to have fun. 

And of course it's an opportunity to move and connect and be in our bodies which feels so good both mentally and physically.  So again, thank you for making the time for teaching these skills and guiding these experiences.

There is just one thing that I want to talk about if you don't mind.

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"My Friend Has a Weight Problem"

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"My Friend Has a Weight Problem"

It happens over and over again. When I tell people what I do - helping women heal their relationships with food and body, people will tell me that they have a friend with a weight problem. 


Their voices drop a little as if maybe they shouldn't be talking about it. And then they proceed to tell me about the friend in a bigger body who is unhappy and has lost some weight recently or is trying to lose weight, can I help them? 

Some people will also say that they know diets don’t work but can I help them do it the “right” way?

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Do You Struggle With Sugar like Mika?

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Do You Struggle With Sugar like Mika?

This morning I was reading an article from Mika Brzezinski about how she has had a lifelong struggle with sugar. Her words resonated with me, I could have written them too based on what my relationship with sugar used to look like. As Mika works to change her relationship with sugar by “pulling herself back in” with mindfulness, I am cheering for her, but I also want to share some insights from someone who has been there.

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You Want to Talk about Weight Loss?

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You Want to Talk about Weight Loss?

This week someone shared with me their triumphant story about going on a diet and losing weight and becoming a health coach and living happily ever after.

The conversation started when this person friended me on Facebook and then proceeded to suggest that I share her information with others after I finished scrolling through her Facebook page. (A little ballsy if you ask me but I am a sucky marketer so what do I know.)

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It's Not About the Food

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It's Not About the Food

For those who may be starting their intuitive eating journey, or wondering what body positivity is all about, or thinking there is no way that I will ever like this body of mine so I am going to keep working on how I eat, I wanted to give you a little heads up.

It’s not about the food.

Wanting to control your body and wanting to control your food is a symptom of a much deeper, richer journey inward. The food piece is the doorway into this work.

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Tommy - Can You Hear Me?

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Tommy - Can You Hear Me?

Hi Tommy - I read your article in the Atlantic. Thank you for sharing your story so openly and honestly. There were a few things I noticed along the way and I hope you don't mind if I share them.

Your body was never a problem. When the kids on the bus were teasing you, that was fat phobia and weight stigma at play.  It was not your fault.

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Middle School Health Class (Fat Shaming 101)

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Middle School Health Class (Fat Shaming 101)

When I wrote my blog post about having a daughter in middle school, it didn’t occur to me that the teachings in the classroom would be something I would need to worry about. Apparently, I was wrong. This week - this graphic was used in the school’s health lesson. I think the class should be renamed Fat Shaming 101. Here is a list of the things I found troubling in just one day of health class as well as the reasons why these issues are so problematic.

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The Cost of Weight Loss

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The Cost of Weight Loss

Last week I heard someone tell a story about a young person whose doctor thought they were gaining more weight than the they should and the doctor suggested they do something about it. It was determined somehow that poor eating habits and lack of movement were the problem and somehow this was corrected. I don’t know the details but the person lost weight and went into adulthood in a smaller body. 

The person telling the story was saying – see – sometimes young people need help learning what to do so they can be healthier. 

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The 12 Step Process - Modified for Chronic Dieters

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The 12 Step Process - Modified for Chronic Dieters

I modified the typical 12 step list from the addiction model for two reasons. One, I had clients who had been members of Overeaters Anonymous and who valued the 12 step process and the feeling of community while being members. Unfortunately, they were also harmed by the idea that they were powerless over food - the original addiction model does not apply to food - so I wanted to give them their power back.

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Undiagnosed Eating Disorders

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Undiagnosed Eating Disorders

It occurred to me the other day that I probably had an eating disorder through most of my life. It never occurred to me that that was my problem because I always thought my problem was being the wrong size.

And since I thought that trying to change my body was normal, and because I never got thin enough to concern anyone, I never realized that I could have gotten help for my suffering much earlier than I did.

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One Cherry

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One Cherry

I am not an expert in feeding children. But I am a parent who has to feed her children every day.  I want to offer a few resources on how to feed children from those who know more than I, plus some perspective from someone who has heard countless stories about how a person's eating experience as a child shaped their relationship to food and their body as adults (and not in a good way).

This post was inspired by one cherry.

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Elizabeth and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Bad Body Day

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Elizabeth and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Bad Body Day

Elizabeth woke up and immediately thought of the things she didn't want to do that day. The obligations, the chores, the work. Ugh. There is nothing I want to do today, she thought.

She got out of bed and noted that her feet hurt when they touched the floor and her back was sore. Great. We are off to a wonderful start today - she thought sarcastically. Maybe if I weren't so heavy my back wouldn't be sore.

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The Problem with Body Positivity: A Rebuttal

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The Problem with Body Positivity: A Rebuttal

My client sent me a certain NYTimes opinion piece article that I wanted to respond to right away because it was driving me crazy.  The original article is called "The Problem with Body Positivity" and the article is indeed causing a problem with it's mis-information, damaging healthism, contradictory points and lack of understanding of what a true Health at Every Size® and body positive approach even means. So let me clarify a few things if I may. 

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