If it's Your First Holiday as an Intuitive Eater or Trying to Accept Your Body

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If it's Your First Holiday as an Intuitive Eater or Trying to Accept Your Body

Congratulations! That is so exciting that you have chosen to leave diet culture behind and repair your relationship with food and body.  Bravo to you. This work takes courage and strength.

To help you on your way, I wrote this post to give you some support as you head into the holiday season.

If it's the first time you are seeing family and friends since you gave up dieting, it can be intimidating and uncomfortable, it can also be incredibly freeing and exhilarating.

Here are a few things you can do to navigate those first few holidays.

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10 Body Image Tips for Parents - Just In Time to Share with Family at The Holidays

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10 Body Image Tips for Parents - Just In Time to Share with Family at The Holidays

Did you grow up despising or disliking your body? Did your parents like their bodies? Have you spent years and perhaps decades (like me) trying to change your body? How do we make sure we do not pass our harmful limiting beliefs and attitudes on to our children?

Or if thinking about your body negatively has never occurred to you, but it seems to be happening to your child, what can you do?

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16 Healing Practices for Stressful Times

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This fall has been one of transition. I have a new office, my kids are back to school and my oldest has gone off to college for the first time (Go Huskies!).

As usual, I have been monitoring how I feel during this time and noting what feels good and what doesn't feel so good so I can figure out the most nourishing ways to support myself.

I compiled a list of some of the things that make me feel good and help me stay grounded and centered even during a time of change and not knowing exactly what is going to come next.

  • Journaling: I do this every day. It's the first thing I do with a cup of coffee, before checking any email or social media. It helps me make sense of what is happening and get clear on what I want. I've been doing this for decades because I look forward to it.

  • Feeling: When I felt sad about the college transition, I sat with it and I felt sad. I let it flow through. I gave myself some space.

  • Music: When in doubt, throw on a new playlist! Some of my favorites this summer have been; Maggie Rogers, Juke Ross, Sleeping at Last and Jukebox the Ghost. I make playlists that make me want to move and playlists to calm and soothe when I am feeling anxious.

  • Sound healing: Youtube has tons of sound healing options. Our bodies are made out of energy and they respond to sound. (That's why we love music so much.) I listen to this and this when I can't fall asleep or I wake up in the middle of the night.

  • Walking outside, getting sun on my face or even just standing in the grass if I'm too tired for a walk. "Grounding" is literally something our bodies do when they are in contact with the ground. (Mom, that's why you always love being barefoot!) Whether it helps or not, it sure can't hurt.

  • Laughter: We've been watching The Good Place on Netflix. So funny. Also, we enjoy being "that" parent and embarrassing our teenagers. It's highly entertaining.

  • Food: I've been loving the start of cold weather foods from chili to broccoli soup. I also love a bowl of Hood's Green Monster Mint ice cream while watching tv at night. Yum.

  • Movement: Walking has been a favorite this fall and energy medicine yoga which combines the principles of energy medicine with a yoga routine. I love killing two birds with one stone. (Wait, what? Why is that even a saying?)

  • Sleep: I love 20-minute naps!

  • New classes: I find nothing breaks me out of a funk like a new class, I guess I'm just an academic at heart. So I'm diving into several self-study classes this fall like the Coaches Rising class on The Neuroscience of Change. Fascinating!

  • Support: I get my own coaching, mentoring and supervision often. We all have our blind spots and places we'd like to be stronger.

  • Connection to others: I try to have a coffee date or phone call at least once a week with a friend, or new colleague or someone I want to get to know better.

  • Breathing! It seems so simple, but it's so incredible what breathing does for our bodies. Focused and deliberate deep breathing. There is also the breath of fire, nostril breathing and simply putting your hand on your heart for 10 deep belly breaths. I'd like to make this a more regular part of my day but when I am feeling tense - it's my go to. You can do it anywhere.

  • Heartmath: - this is a combination of breathing and centering techniques with a focus on gratitude and channeling the feeling of love and sending it out into the world. It has science and evidence to back up its benefits and is a great tool for decreasing anxiety.

  • Connection to something bigger than me: In addition to learning about energy medicine and using meditation and deep breathing, I love to notice and be grateful for all the ways I am guided and supported in this life. This book is one of my favorites on that topic.

  • Pet snuggles: And when all else fails, lying on the floor and spooning with our Bernese Mountain Dog, Sammie, never fails to comfort.

So those are all my secrets! Relying on these tools has helped me stay present and enabled me to take care of myself during what is typically a stressful time.

This also keeps me from turning to dieting to feel a sense of control or focusing on my body as a problem when feeling stressed. There is no right or wrong way to take care of ourselves especially if we are coming from a place of loving care and curiosity.

What tools do you rely on in stressful times?


Note to Health Coaches

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Note to Health Coaches

I have a request for health coaches. I think it's a fair and simple request.

When you post the before and after pictures of the clients who have used your diet product or service, could you make the small print at the bottom of your post a little bigger to read?

I'm getting older and my eyes aren't what they are used to be. So it's kind of hard to see that the average weight loss of those who use your product is only X and that people using your product are only tracked for 12 weeks while using your product.

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6 Things to Consider if You Want to Lose Weight

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6 Things to Consider if You Want to Lose Weight

There are many people in the world who want to lose weight. Before stepping on that path for the first time or the 30th time, here are a few things to consider.

First, what is your goal and why?

For example, in my 30's I had a goal weight in mind. It was a weight I had achieved for a few years between college and marriage when I was living on my own, working and had very few responsibilities. Fast forward to age 36 and 3 babies later and I was still trying to weigh that. And because I didn't weigh that - I automatically judged my body as being unacceptable without actually considering how it felt to be in my body or how my body functioned. So what is your goal? When did you set that as the goal? Who and what influenced your decision? Why do you think it's something you need to do?

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How James Corden Got it Right and What He’s Still Missing

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How James Corden Got it Right and What He’s Still Missing

Dear James , 

I absolutely loved your response to Bill Maher about fat shaming. You are right on that fat shaming is just a form of bullying and it will do nothing to make people smaller. Bravo.

In fact, fat shaming and weight bias has been shown to actually have a negative effect on health that is worse than whatever weight a person may be carrying on their body.

However, I did want to mention a few things that you may want to consider in addition to the great points you already made in your rebuttal.

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Solving our Weight "Problem" Using the Frequency of Emotions

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Solving our Weight "Problem" Using the Frequency of Emotions

Albert Einstein said - “We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

This is why dieting, rules and restriction will never work to help us heal our relationship with our weight.

You see, the "problem" of our body has been created through fear based thinking.  For example, someone told us we should be smaller to be healthier and prettier and more acceptable.

So we live in fear of being unhealthy, unattractive and unacceptable.

Now we have a problem.  We feel bad about our bodies.

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Dear Mike Dooley - about your weight loss program.....

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First off, I have been a fan of yours for many years. Your Notes from the Universe are profound and uplifting and inspirational. I have saved many of them over the years because they make me smile. Like this one:

No more "supposed to's," OK, Elizabeth? 

You're not supposed to work harder, look better, sleep less, sell more, run faster, talk slower, be happier, stay longer, leave earlier, cook, clean, negotiate, settle, start, stop, move, try, win, shake, rattle or roll. 

Other people made all that up. 

I love you the way you are,

   The Universe

Which is why it makes it all the more confusing to see that you now have an offering called "Losing Weight and Looking Great". Really?

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It's Ok If You Still Want to Lose Weight

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It's Ok If You Still Want to Lose Weight

Intuitive Eating (IE) is a transformational approach to improving your relationship with food and body. When studying IE, one learns about what diet mentality is and how it might be holding you back from peace with food. IE students learn many other new concepts such as permission to eat and how to disarm the food police.

One very important thing true intuitive eaters also learn is that Intuitive Eating is not about weight loss.

In fact, true intuitive eating and intentional weight loss are quite the opposites.

And yet, people often still want to lose weight when they start intuitive eating.

I know I did.

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Dear Coach of Teens,

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Dear Coach of Teens,

First, thank you so much for your time and effort.  Sports are an incredible opportunity to learn how to work together as a team, and to learn new skills or get better at something you may not be very good at.  It's also a great bonding experience and chance to have fun. 

And of course it's an opportunity to move and connect and be in our bodies which feels so good both mentally and physically.  So again, thank you for making the time for teaching these skills and guiding these experiences.

There is just one thing that I want to talk about if you don't mind.

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"My Friend Has a Weight Problem"

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"My Friend Has a Weight Problem"

It happens over and over again. When I tell people what I do - helping women heal their relationships with food and body, people will tell me that they have a friend with a weight problem. 


Their voices drop a little as if maybe they shouldn't be talking about it. And then they proceed to tell me about the friend in a bigger body who is unhappy and has lost some weight recently or is trying to lose weight, can I help them? 

Some people will also say that they know diets don’t work but can I help them do it the “right” way?

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Do You Struggle With Sugar like Mika?

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Do You Struggle With Sugar like Mika?

This morning I was reading an article from Mika Brzezinski about how she has had a lifelong struggle with sugar. Her words resonated with me, I could have written them too based on what my relationship with sugar used to look like. As Mika works to change her relationship with sugar by “pulling herself back in” with mindfulness, I am cheering for her, but I also want to share some insights from someone who has been there.

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You Want to Talk about Weight Loss?

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You Want to Talk about Weight Loss?

This week someone shared with me their triumphant story about going on a diet and losing weight and becoming a health coach and living happily ever after.

The conversation started when this person friended me on Facebook and then proceeded to suggest that I share her information with others after I finished scrolling through her Facebook page. (A little ballsy if you ask me but I am a sucky marketer so what do I know.)

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It's Not About the Food

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It's Not About the Food

For those who may be starting their intuitive eating journey, or wondering what body positivity is all about, or thinking there is no way that I will ever like this body of mine so I am going to keep working on how I eat, I wanted to give you a little heads up.

It’s not about the food.

Wanting to control your body and wanting to control your food is a symptom of a much deeper, richer journey inward. The food piece is the doorway into this work.

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Tommy - Can You Hear Me?

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Tommy - Can You Hear Me?

Hi Tommy - I read your article in the Atlantic. Thank you for sharing your story so openly and honestly. There were a few things I noticed along the way and I hope you don't mind if I share them.

Your body was never a problem. When the kids on the bus were teasing you, that was fat phobia and weight stigma at play.  It was not your fault.

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Middle School Health Class (Fat Shaming 101)

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Middle School Health Class (Fat Shaming 101)

When I wrote my blog post about having a daughter in middle school, it didn’t occur to me that the teachings in the classroom would be something I would need to worry about. Apparently, I was wrong. This week - this graphic was used in the school’s health lesson. I think the class should be renamed Fat Shaming 101. Here is a list of the things I found troubling in just one day of health class as well as the reasons why these issues are so problematic.

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The Cost of Weight Loss

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The Cost of Weight Loss

Last week I heard someone tell a story about a young person whose doctor thought they were gaining more weight than the they should and the doctor suggested they do something about it. It was determined somehow that poor eating habits and lack of movement were the problem and somehow this was corrected. I don’t know the details but the person lost weight and went into adulthood in a smaller body. 

The person telling the story was saying – see – sometimes young people need help learning what to do so they can be healthier. 

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